For reasons of keeping the title short (in compliance with Multiply posting parameters), my title for this post is: "How To Avoid Being Ripped Off...".  The true title though is:

How To Avoid Being Ripped Off By People Who Want To Borrow Money Without Any Intention Of Paying You Back

This post was prompted by an earlier post by ballerina95 who talked about how some people have the audacity to borrow one's hard earned money and yet you see them spending left and right as if there were no tomorrow.  She lamented to say, "What can one do?".  To this I posted a comment to say, "what can one do?".....well, there is a polite way of deflecting family members from borrowing money. try this: "i would really want to help you if only i could recover the money owed to me by so and so. if only it were returned. as it is, perme (parati) lang ako inuutangan at di binabayaran". if they don't get the drift, then... ambot (ewan ko) na lang.

A few comments later, ilovelifeforever, replies quoting my post,

"i would really want to help you if only i could recover the money owed to me by so and so." sometimes this line works, sometimes, it doesn't."

I have to agree.  Sometimes the line works, and sometimes it doesn't.  But during those occasions when you feel that the line is not going to work, you will just have to be firm and say it out directly, "I am sorry but I cannot help you at this time".  The straightforwardness will fortify your position that you do not want to be duped knowing that giving in will not help them curb the habit of what I'd call "serial borrowing bordering on estafa".

As an alternative though, you can hand out something to them, preferably an amount you can manage to part with without expecting anything in return.  I learned this principle ten years ago when by the poolside of L'Fisher Hotel in Bacolod City, then Rep. Charlie Cojuangco gave this piece of indispensable advise to a greenhorn in politics by the name of Nunelucio Alvarado. Yes, this is the same Nune Alvarado, the multi-awarded Filipino visual artist.  Nune, at that time, was running for a seat in Sagay City's council.  His quandary had to do with having to deal with all the folk who were always asking for help whether for medical assistance, burial expenses, tuition fees and a host of other "immediate needs".  Nune said he had a hard time giving reasons why he could not help.

Within that group of three, Charlie, the seasoned politician, proceeded to explain that one should always have money in his pocket even if it meant a bunch of five peso coins jingling while walking.  The people encountered are barrio folk and it is important to at least hand out something no matter how small the amount.

"To' , wala gid ako sang mapahulam sa imo pero ari lang lima ka pisos, makabulig ina bisan paano" (Sir, I don't have anything to lend to you at this moment but here's five pesos.  This can help in the least way possible).  At first I could not believe that people would accept a five peso token.  So did Nune.  But Charlie is the experienced politician.  He said it works so Nune took the advise.

Lesson to learn : have something on hand to give as a token during occasions when people who want to borrow money from you (without the intention of paying you back) come around.  Some of them will resent the fact that you handed out a meager amount. However, deep down inside you would have done what is necessary.  How can they actually knock you when they came to borrow money and you responded with a dole out?  Make it clear to them that you are giving the token amount.  Verbalize it at least three times, "You don't have to pay me back for this".

Your conscience will tell you that you have helped someone despite their attempts to dupe you.  

And while your pocket may have a few hundred pesos less, at the very least you have minimized your losses and have avoided the agony of having to recover a large amount whether by simple demand or through legal means.

to be continued...